He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize