so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
