I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
