I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
