I heard we made out
My liver just broke up with me...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
