Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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