Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
