why didn't you poke me back
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
