it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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