I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
