Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
