I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
