Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
