i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
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Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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