Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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