the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
FUCK WHALES
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
