i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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