laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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