All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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