Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
