i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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