I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
