She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
