How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
