one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
