Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
