IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
