1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
