Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We just shotgunned beers for America
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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