thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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