so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
