it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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