Where did you get a picture of my penis
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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