do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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