so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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