His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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