Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
