I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
