I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
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honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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