I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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