Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
