My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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