Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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