This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize