He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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