She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
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Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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