it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
