I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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