Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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