She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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