you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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