Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize