I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Such a big mess for such a small penis
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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