I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
