it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
