no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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