last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
