Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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