God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize