help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
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you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
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I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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