he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
