That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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