I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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