He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
