So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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