I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
