why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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