he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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