im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize