Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
