I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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