does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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