Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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